Hot Shower Showdown
May 9th, 2007

At 6:30 in the morning, just like every other morning, Brett's alarm clock brought his sweet, unconscious existence to a screeching halt.

"Ahh, I feel like death," he moaned.

After forcing himself onto his feet, he struggled mightily to walk the twenty feet to the shower. Only its hot water could make him feel better.

"Come on. Left foot, right foot, sweet-merciful-Christ, I'm fucking tired!"

Just as he reached the bathroom door, Gregory, his little brother, darted in front of him and shouted, "I get to use the bathroom first!"

"No, you don't," said Brett as he grabbed Greg's arm.

"Yes I do! Let me go!"

" don't," Brett firmly reiterated as he flung Greg back into the hallway, where he landed on his ass with a firm thud.

His sister Janice followed after Greg.

"Let me get in that bathroom," she stated.

"No way bitch," Brett replied.

"Come on! I need to fix my hair!"

"Fuck you and your stringy-ass hair!"

"Move it!" she shouted while attempting to muscle her way past him.

Brett, however, stood his ground. He quickly pushed her away before reminding her, "Don't even try it. I'm a man. I'm stronger than you."

Suddenly, his mother yelled from her bedroom, "Brett, stop teasing your sister this instant!"

Brett heard her, but since she was still in her warm, comfy bed with no intention of getting up anytime soon, her words meant nothing.

Finally, his father approached.

"Look out. I need the bathroom," said his father.

"Dad, please. I was here first."

"Yeah, well this is my house and I pay the bills around here so get the hell outta my way!"

"Well," Brett quickly replied, "that's true but," and then he quickly jumped inside the bathroom, shut the door, and locked it.

Seconds later, he had slithered out of his clothes and stepped into the tub, completely ignoring his father's shouts.

A simple turn of the knob later, hot water engulfed his body, not only waking him up, but also transferring him to an altered state of consciousness where he felt no stress, had no worries, cared about nothing, and loved everyone.

Now if that's not worth pissing off your entire family for...well...fuck you, ya goody-two-shoes prick!

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Cold Shower Alternate Ending Version


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