The 5 Most Awesome Pieces of Athletic Footwear
February 19th, 2008

Popular stereotypes might have you believe that only women fuss over shoes. The sports world, however, has proven time and time again that this simply isn’t true. In athletics, the right shoe has the power to make you stand out from the crowd, earn millions of dollars, or just amuse yourself and others. For that reason, many athletes have carefully decided what to wear on their feet and manufacturers take great care in developing athletic footwear.

This page honors some of the most awesome footwear to ever grace the sporting scene. In order to avoid any confusion or misunderstanding, I have provided a scientific definition of what qualifies as “awesome”:

Awesome (adj.) – Stuff I like.

5.) Bret Hart’s Wrestling Boots

Sharpshooting in style.

When you’re a man who is going to spend most of his public career in pink spandex, you’re outfit had better have great design going for it. With sharp pink accents that only Hart Foundation members could make look manly, the classic wing-tip boot style has never looked better nor will it ever again. This boot complements a wrestling outfit better than any other I’ve ever seen. They’re ultra-cool in that they have a sort of dress shoe style to them. If you were to remove the pink accents and star logo, you could probably wear them with a tuxedo and nobody would notice at first glance, thus making them perfect for any formal occasion, especially the ones that make you feel like stomping on people (i.e. family gatherings, office parties). In the wrestling world, this worked out great, because if you were an opponent who lost to Hart, not only did you lose to a man in pink, but also to a man dressed to impress rather than whoop ass.

4.) Chuck Taylor’s “All Stars” aka “Chucks”

If there’s one thing that basketball does well - and as far as this loyal hockey fan is concerned, it might be the only thing - it’s sneakers. Despite all the advancements and changes in sports apparel over the years, there are certain classics that are simply irreplaceable and Chucks certainly fit that description, being by far the best selling shoe in history. Their appeal is so timeless that they have been a part of numerous fashion trends over the decades and as we all know, if it’s part of a fashion trend, it has to be good.

3.) Michael Jordan’s “Air Jordans”

If there were ever a line of sneakers that deserved to be re-released incessantly and overpriced by $120, these are it. These bad boys practically market themselves. Honestly, who among us has never dreamed of flying "like Mike" at one time or another? After 20+ years on the market, their street cred remains very high. If you want to be the ballinist baller around, you better have some variant of these on your feet.

2.) Michael Johnson’s Golden Shoes

Photo Credit: BBC News

Golden shoes are guaranteed to make you run faster in the same way that placing flame decals on your car is a surefire way to increase top speed. It won’t help at all, but damn, will you look good. Johnson used these gold shoes at the 1996 Olympics to set new world records in the 200 and 400 meter dash, cementing his place in history as one of the world’s greatest sprinters. True story, when the millions of spectators around the world watched those sparkling gold shoes cross the finish line, they knew right then and there that the USA was way better than any other country and nothing would ever change that.

1.) Hockey Skates

Why? Because they let you do “The Hockey Stop”:

If it’s the little joys in life that ultimately mean the most, skating really fast and then suddenly stopping and spraying ice all over strangers and/or loved ones should be a top priority for everyone.

- 2.19.2008

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